I hate feeling left out.

I hate being the third person, awkwardly standing on the side. I hate being invited to something but being totally ignored. I hate it when all of my friends go somewhere and not tell me. I hate not understanding an inside joke. Feeling left out can be one of the worst feelings. It leaves you lonely and empty.

2012.05.26

Waking up so early just bored me to the max. It’s Saturday and today is the first day of two-weeks school holiday. Not-so-holiday for me as in I have to struggle a lot for SPM. For the need of my better future. Seeing mum in depressing mood and her life full of sadness just give me the strength to make become such a bookworm. I have many thoughts ran on my mind past two days. Thoughts about where should I go. Do people around me really care about me. Am I important to someone. Well, Its paranoid feeling aite. I’m always feel insecure.

2012.05.20

HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYONEEEEEE!

Yeah, I am so hyper today.

Nothing special. Just im in the middle of the end of exam week. Like Seriousleeeeyyyy. A week then I AM FREEEE FROM ALL THE STRESSS AND LACK OF SLEEP. Plus I can enjoy my baby Jae comeback with his new drama. A historical drama. But again, he’s not the main main character in this old fashion drama. Anyway, I am going to watch it no matter what.

So far the examination goes very well. I did well and jotted down the answers with full of high expectation and confident. Except..

I screwed my Additional Mathematics paper 2.

It was hard. No joking. No hide and seek. No treat or trick. It was madness. I was sitting on my butt, thinking and trying to put the numbers and formula together, but I failed. All the things I have studied becomes blank in my mind as soon as I slipped over the pages. I was hoping jagung tidak akan berbuah dua kali during SPM.